Can’t Compare
I did a whole heck of a lot of stuff today. More than I do most days. More than a lot of people probably get done in a day. It won’t feel like enough though, because I know there was time I spent idle that I could have done more. I know there are other people, people who probably have more going on than me who would have accomplished more with the same amount of time, or hell, maybe even less. But I think that’s always the case.
There’s always a bigger fish, right? (I think I’m using that right).
I coached a soccer game today for my kid. Our team is doing alright this year, we’re a game or two over .500. There have been some close ones and some heartbreakers, and we had a blowout go against us one time. Before the game, I heard kids on the other team whispering that they remembered our team from last year and that we were good. Sure enough we beat them 4-0, and that’s probably only because we eased off the gas in the second half.
I like to go to the gym and lift weights. I’ve enjoyed it since high school and at times I’ve gotten pretty into it. There are days where I can take a step back and objectively say that I’m a pretty strong guy. Probably stronger than the average person. I’ve worked hard to get to that point, and I don’t think I’m being boastful or anything by saying that. When I’m at the gym, however, I don’t see all the people I’m bigger or stronger than. I see the people bigger than me. The people who are making it look easy. I see people I’m jealous of, that I wish I could be.
There’s always a bigger fish.
I brought up those two things to illustrate that point. A point I will now ramble towards and hope I arrive at. There are things I could do differently. In the gym example, I could go to the gym more. That’s really kind of it, but I could do it and then I’d be bigger and stronger, but it would come at the exclusion of other things. Going to the gym is something I like, but it’s not my favorite thing. I do stuff with my family, I write, I draw, sadly I have to work sometimes, and some days I just don’t feel like going to the gym. Those things are all on me. I see the people who do better than me, and the truth is that most of them work harder at it than I do. But I think even if I did those things, even if I was there every day, giving it my all, I’d still find the people bigger than me and wonder how they do it and why I’m not doing it.
Or like the kids we beat at soccer today. Our team is only doing ok; we’re certainly not the best team in our league, but to the kids we played today we were so good that we were memorable. They’re looking up at us but we’re looking up at the next team, and the next one.
I do that with a lot of things. Like writing. I saw a friend today mention they’d written 10,000 words in a single day, and I was so jealous. There are writers I’ve connected with who have achieved far more than I have in the same amount of time. Nevermind that I’ve written five novels in the last 7 years (and parts of some others). Nevermind that I signed my first contract last year and I have a physical, published book available to buy. Nevermind all that. It’s easier to focus on what I haven’t done.
But I shouldn’t. No one should. It’s certainly not helpful. I’m doing great. You’re doing great. If you’re doing the best you can do, that’s all anyone can ask, and it’s all you can ask of yourself. Everyone has different circumstances and different abilities and different priorities, and that means everyone is going to get to different places at different times.
I totally get it. I’ve spent most of this essay explaining how much easier it is to look up at where you’re not than appreciate where you are. But the two main takeaways are these:
Be happy where you are. If you worked hard to get there, then be proud of that. You earned it.
Don’t focus on what’s above you. Don’t even always strive for what’s above you. Where you are might be good enough for you. I could definitely be stronger, or write more, or draw better or throw myself 110% behind one thing to the exclusion of all else. But I don’t really want to. I’ve done enough, and I also want to play some video games, so today, enough is enough.
