Ninja Turtles: A List
I was a young kid in the late 80’s and early 90’s so, obviously, I lived, breathed, and loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I watched the cartoon, I had the toys, I had Turtles themed birthday parties, I had the blankets on my bed and the underwear on my butt. I am no longer a kid (unless you ask my wife, my son, or most of the people who know me well) but the Turtles still have a very special place in my heart, and I have gone out of my way to see just about every movie and at least sample every new iteration of them that has come out throughout my life. Needless I’ve enjoyed sharing this fandom with my son as well.
Therefore, it was a no-brainer that we’d be going to see the newest movie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem on opening weekend. We talked about it all week. I may have been more hyped than my almost-nine-year-old. The movie theater felt different to me. Seeing the ads for the Turtle combos (complete with Pizza Hut pizza, a low tier pizza but the only one the TMNT have ever gone for) gave me goosebumps. I saw adults in their TMNT gear, and kids in there green TMNT pajamas. The mood was set.
AND THE MOVIE WAS GREAT. I loved it. I’m not always the best judge of movies (I like some pretty bad ones), but my wife liked it too, and that’s a much stronger endorsement. My boy loved it too. We all came out quoting it, and one of the first things I said to my friends was, “This was a top three Ninja Turtles movie.” I meant it more as just, “This movie was so good!” kind of statement, but it was immediately met with, “What are the other two then?” and that got me thinking.
So it is I bring to you, from a turtles superfan, an almost exhaustive ranked list of the movie outings of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)
The only movie on the list I didn’t see. I didn’t love its predecessor (though I didn’t hate it), and I wasn’t moved enough by the ads or anything else to go see it in theaters, and since then it just keeps falling far far on the backburner and never makes it onto my list of things to do. Maybe it’s not fair to put a movie I’ve never seen at the bottom of a list (or on the list at all), but it’s my list and considering I HAVE made an effort to see every other movie on the list, I think that says all it needs to.
9. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)
It’s just not a good movie. I don’t know if it was rushed (the timeline seems to indicate that) or what, but the story just bombs. I won’t lie, as a kid, I enjoyed it. I still remember and can quote a good amount of it, so it clearly made my rotation as a kid, but I never rewatch it now. I’m not even sure I’ve shown my son, but he’s seen the other two original movies MANY times. It just doesn’t hold up. The time travel makes no sense and serves no purpose other than for some costume changes and some jokes that have aged very poorly. It was probably only there to capitalize off the success of the Turtles in Time arcade cabinet/SNES game, but it failed pretty hard at that too.
8. Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie (2022)
Here’s where I start making enemies on this list, because I know Rise is pretty beloved by folks–it’s just not for me. The show isn’t bad, and I actually like the character designs, but the zany energy is a little too much for me at times, and while I can tolerate and even enjoy it for 22 minutes (11 really, since each episode is two self-contained stories), a full movie was a bit too much for me. I don’t wanna be that guy, but they’re just not my ninja turtles. I liked Teen Titans, but I don’t care for Teen Titans GO. It’s fine if you can stand it; I can’t.
7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
This was the last movie I saw in theaters before my son was born. I dragged my very pregnant wife out to go see this movie and she came because she knows how much I love my turtles. I was apprehensive about the new style and some of the casting, but I was willing to show up for my guys and it was…ok. It’s serviceable. It has its moments, it has some great action sequences, squeezes out some laughs, but, much like with Transformers, Michael Bay tried to turn it into a big budget CGI explosion fest, and it worked even less well with four ninjas than it does with opposing armies of giant car robots. Also, turtle boner jokes are weird.
6. Turtles Forever (2009)
This is a fun little movie that probably went under a lot of people’s radar. It was a 25th anniversary celebration that involved a multi-dimensional affair (beating Spiderverse by almost a full decade). The 2003 cartoon turtles meet the 1987 turtles, antics and nostalgic brand celebration ensue. The two sets of turtles poke fun at each other with some light ribbing (what kind of ninja wears a monogrammed belt?) and eventually they also encounter the original comic book turtles who are appropriately dark, broody, and black and white. I’ve gone back to watch it a few times and it reminds me why I loved the original cartoons and why the 2003 cartoon was a strong follow up.
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)
It physically pains me to put this movie here, because it’s the one on this list I’ve seen the second most (and the gap between two and three is WIDE), but this is where it belongs. After the first movie was a MASSIVE success, they slammed this one out in less than a year. They continued to use the impeccable Jim Henson-made suits for the turtles which look just as good if not better than before. The big change was the tone. The original movie is a lot closer to the comics, and the turtles are a bit more violent, but a lot of the kids going to see the movie (and their parents) only knew the turtles from their (very) cartoony… cartoon iteration.
Moms complained, basically. The action is slapstick, the jokes are a little goofier, and the tone is just lighter in general. It’s not bad and I still enjoy it. When I was younger I liked it more than the first, and, similarly, my son likes it better now. It is much more of a kids movie, and it works as a good kids movie, it’s just not as good a movie overall and so here it falls on my list.
4. Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2019)
If you haven’t seen this movie, and you like the turtles enough to have read this far, you need to go see this movie. It is a love letter to the turtles and Batman and it contains almost everything you could want from the thing I just described. One of the best scenes in the movie is a one on one fight between Shredder and Batman that lasts several minutes and includes some stunning fight choreography and animation. There are in-jokes and references that span decades worth of materials, some obvious, some buried in side characters and brief background shots. The movie wastes no time with set up or explanation. It knows its audience, and it knows if you turned on the movie, you know who the turtles are, you know Batman, you know their rogues galleries, and you’re going to get them IMMEDIATELY with no explanation. It is 87 minutes of pure appreciation for two great properties.
3. TMNT (2007)
While in college, I dragged my girlfriend of less than a year, who I only saw on weekends, to go see this movie. I married that woman, because someone who puts up with crap like that is someone you hang onto. The movie well animated, it’s a serviceable story, and it approaches the turtles from a new angle in that, while its never said outright, they’re not quite teenagers anymore. They’re clearly young adults and dealing with more young adult things like jobs and existential dread.
It also takes the over done, “Leo and Raph have a big argument and don’t get along trope,” and actually goes somewhere with it. Leo has been gone for a long time and Raph feels like he’s had to step up to take care of the family (whether he’s done a good job of that is debatable but it’s how he feels), so when Leo shows back up and tries to step into his leadership role, you have an actual good reason for the inevitable fallout. And it actually leads to a serious, emotionally charged fight instead of the hissy fit and storm out we usually get. It feels earned, and it pays off in a big way. The voice cast is good, the fights are fun. I love this movie.
2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)
I’ve only seen this movie once, but I know I’ll be buying it and I’ll be watching it again and again and again. When I heard about this movie, and I heard Seth Rogen was producing it, I had the exact opposite feeling I had when I heard Michael Bay was taking a crack at it in 2014–pure, unadulterated joy. Seth Rogen isn’t my favorite actor by any stretch, but I knew in my soul he was a fan and he would treat this property with reverence and love, and damn he did exactly that. You can tell the movie loves everything about the turtles, from the deepcut references (Ray Fillet and Genghis Frog?) to the brief cameo appearance of the Ninja Rap (go ninja, go!) this movie celebrated the turtles in the way Turtles Forever did, but was also actually a good movie in its own right.
Also, as the opposite of TMNT (2007) we got young turtles. We always call them the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but other than generic 80s teenager things like enjoying music, skateboards, and pizza, we rarely see more than a glimpse of real teenager type personalities, but in this movie we got to see them as real kids, and I know they were acting like kids because I didn’t always get the jokes, but it was clear from the theaters reaction that the actual kids there thought they were hilarious, and that’s important. The turtles may have originally been for me (except they weren’t because the original comics came out before I was born), but the turtles are and should be for everyone, and this movie nailed it. I loved it, my kid loved it. We will get to love it together for a long time, and hopefully someday his kid(s) will love it too.
1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
It’s the best. How could it not be? It was a comic accurate comic book movie before we knew we really cared about that. Moreover, it’s a GOOD movie, one that just happens to have four walking, talking, mutant turtles as protagonists. The Jim Henson creature shop suits look SO good and they hold up wonderfully 33 years later. By far the movie I’ve seen the most on this list, and one I would watch any day, any time. I used to be able to recite it line for line from memory. It has the turtles in exactly the roles we know them for. Donnie is smart, Mikey makes jokes, Leo is serious, and Raph has his hissy fit. It’s a fun movie for most kids (those 90s moms were crazy), but it has the jokes and tone to appeal to adults as well.
The movie was so good and so well received that the studio felt the need to get the second one done and out the door less than a year later. The studios felt the same way about Iron Man but it took them 2 years to make Iron Man 2, and the budget was literally 20 times more.
The comics were great, the cartoon was great, and this movie proved that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were a media force to be reckoned with. Much like the most recent movie, this one was made by people who cared about these characters. It would be so easy to make an easy cash grab movie to capitalize on a popular IP–it’s been done before and it will be done forever–but this wasn’t that. This was a movie by people who appreciated the characters and the stories and made sure to do them justice as they moved into what is considered by most to be a more serious form of entertainment. Comics and cartoons were for kids, but movies are serious business, and this movie in particular said, “Yeah, and so are these four pizza loving dudes.”
That’s my list. If it wasn’t obvious, I love the Ninja Turtles. For characters that started as borderline parody they’ve grown into a true multi-generational cultural force. It was true in 1984. It was true in 1987. It was true in 1990, and it’s still true in 2023. I suspect it’ll be true for a long time to come, and I look forward to seeing the turtles appear many more times in my life. I might even get around to seeing that second Michael Bay movie.
