Writing is Hard
Writing is hard. It’s fun, enjoyable, incredibly rewarding, and it’s also really hard. I’ve done it for several years now as a hobby and more recently as a job. Both are different experiences, and both are uniquely challenging. I don’t want this to come off as complaining–I love writing–I just want to take some time to highlight that it’s not always as simple as just sitting down and making the words come out.
Well actually…
Let me start at the beginning. I had a story idea and some free time and so when I had a moment here or there I’d jot down a few words. Some days were good, some days were bad. Standard stuff. As I got more into it, I started to set goals. Eventually I had a solid writing habit with a goal of 1,000 words a day. Sometimes I cranked them out in an hour or so. Sometimes I was up late and still didn’t quite hit it. Some days, I’d have to promise myself, “No video games until you get those words out.” It makes it sound like I looked at writing as a chore, something to get through and get over with before I did a “fun” thing, but that’s not true, and that’s why I’m saying writing is hard.
Writing requires my brain to actually be working. It is not an idle activity. I have to be focused on characters, plots, themes, remembering what color that dragon is (sorry to my editor, Peyton). So if I’ve got the tv on, as I do right now, and which I enjoy doing when I’m writing, it tends to take longer because I get distracted more easily. I also give up more easily. When I’m being strict, when I’m pushing myself to really hit those goals, I do almost 1,000 words a day. Sometimes if I hit a good, logical stopping point and its 990 words or so I’ll call it a night, but still, close enough. If I’m not in the “work” mindset, I’m more likely to poke at the keys here and there while Lucifer is on in the background and maybe get 300-500 words out and be like, “Eh, good enough.”
That’s not how books get written, and I like writing books. It’s a lot like going to the gym. I like doing it. It’s fun and rewarding, exactly the things I said about writing. Similarly, you can’t phone it in and expect to get the results you’re looking for. You have to show up, you have to make it a habit, and you have to make it work. You show up at the same time, you push yourself, and if you really put in the effort then you get to see the rewards over time. And that’s where I’m struggling lately. I haven’t been doing that. And again, like the gym, you can’t just go back after a long break and expect to run the same distance or lift the same weights. But if you want to get back to that level you still have to go back and put in the work, little by little.
Rewind number two. Six years ago, I wrote Mattson Academy. As soon as I was finished I set it aside and started another project, a weird west novel I never actually finished. I did a quick round of editing for Mattson, sent it to some friends and family to read and then I wrote a vampire novel (it was supposed to be horror but it became black comedy). Then, taking the feedback from my readers, I did a major rewrite of Mattson Academy. I ended up adding almost 40,000 words. Then I sent it to more people and dove into NaNoWriMo (that is, National Novel Writing Month, a challenge to write a 50,000 word novel start to finish in the month of November). This pattern repeated for years. A lot of writing, some editing, and then immediately on to more writing. I had a habit and I stuck with it, pretty much every day for several years. COVID threw a bit of a wrench in that, but that’s a blog post for another day.
But for the last 3-6 months I haven’t been writing. I’ve been editing. A ton of editing to get Mattson Academy ready to be published, and because I’ve been using all my mental energy for the written language on editing, I had nothing left for writing, so I just… didn’t write. For months. Now the editing is done and it’s time to get back to writing, and the words aren’t flowing as easily. I haven’t hit that 1,000 word mark in a single day. I’m not sure I’ve even written in more than two days back to back since I finished editing. I’m trying though, and I’m getting better.
Why am I writing this? Part of it is to vent. It’s frustrating to not be able to sit down and crank out 1,000+ words whenever I want. I could at one point, and right now I can’t and I don’t love it. The other part is to hopefully offer encouragement to anyone else going through the same thing, or just starting to write and finding the words aren’t coming the way they want them to. I’ve done the thing. I wrote a book. I’ve written several. One of those books, Mattson Academy, is officially being published this fall. It wasn’t easy before and I can say that even having climbed that mountain and coming down the other side, writing is hard.
